So, I don’t know if you’ve heard but… the economy crashed. Break out Steinbeck’s "Grapes of Wrath" with your high school copy of Harper Lee’s "How to Kill a Mockingbird" and start nodding your head in full sympathetic understanding of their plight.
OK, so it is not exactly the Dust Bowl, but jobs are slim this summer and tuition is going up again. The awesome thing about summer for most people is a break from classes, but you probably had to get work.
Unfortunately, that work study position where the government pays you minimum wage to do your homework might not be enough. But I’m all for getting checks for as little effort as possible. After all, I am a young American…I am defined by my ability to slide by on my own self-righteous philosophies that I should neither have to struggle nor suffer for anything in my life.
So, here are my top jobs:
Yard work technician– OK, so I may have added technician at the end just to make it sound fancy. But if you can get some people in your neighborhood to pay you to do their lawn work… you can set your own hours and prices. It may sound kind of juvenile and you’ll probably get so caught up in those back-to-school parties that you’ll forget to ever go out and make money leading to a lifetime of poverty but… life isn’t perfect.
Babysitting– A lot like the last one with risk of juvenile titles, and it can be a really high-stress and difficult job. However, if you do some digging, there are a lot of really rich young mothers that will pay you top dollar to watch their infant sleep in her Burberry onesie. You get to watch reruns of "Sex and the City" while enjoying their super expensive Pom Juice and biscotti that you can never justify getting yourself at the supermarket. You’ll probably have to change disgusting diapers and she might spit up all over your new tank top but…life isn’t perfect.
And don’t worry too much about snagging enough cash to make your life perfect—you can always take out another loan that you’ll be paying back for the rest of your life.
I have to say I have little sympathy for those of you trying to find short-term employment. As a young woman graduating in the worst economy in decades with a degree in creative writing…my future plans include serving coffee and telling people that I’m a poet. But do your best and don’t work too hard—as I’m finding out you have plenty of time for that.