Legitimizing Bieber

We can no longer live under the pretense of being deep and philosophical. We harbor the filthiest of secrets: We are Beliebers.

And you know what? We refuse to be ashamed of it. All of you Portland born-and-bred, Passion Pit-listening hipsters can look down on us if you want, but let’s face it: Justin Bieber has talent.

We stand by our contentions that people just hate him because it’s the cool thing to do.

This isn’t some autotune-abusing Disney star we’re talking about. Usher discovered him, and he is the very essence of cool. In our opinion, we think some of Usher’s coolness rubbed off on the Biebs too.

If you see this kid live, you know his vocal chops are the real thing. Those aren’t backtracks. His pitch and tone are spot on. His energy is infectious. The moment he hits the stage, he is genuinely committed to his music. These crazy fans with Bieber-Fever know talent when they see it. He sings, dances, acts, smiles and flips his hair like no one we’ve ever seen.

And we don’t even know where to begin to describe how wonderfully catchy his singles are. We both have a mix CD of 16 different versions of “Baby.” It gets stuck in your head and never leaves. And we are not even complaining.

One could argue that his lyrics are horrible. We will agree his words are not exactly existentialist poetry, but they make you feel good and want to jam out in your car. What is the harm in that?

Also, we truly believe that one cannot fully form an opinion about him without having seen his 3D movie, “Never Say Never.” Honestly, it was pretty decent. We were up and dancing in the theater with our 3D glasses on like it was nobody’s business. The movie shows that he has had this raw talent from the moment he was born. Also, that he is a model grandson and genuinely appreciative of his fans. He bought his grandparents a house. And as far as his fans go, if you follow him on Twitter, he is constantly thanking his fans for everything. Literally.

No matter what you say, Bieber is the real deal. He’s a regular Renaissance man.

Our ideal Spring Fest is Justin Bieber opening for Yeezy. Or One Direction.