Chivalry and romanticism need not be dead. It always amuses me when yet another woman describes her boyfriend as crude or chauvinistic, and then claims that chivalry is dead across the board. The incompetence of your boyfriend does not prove anything other than individual incompetence.
It’s a simple thing to do, guys: Hold a door open for a girl walking toward you. Unfortunately, there are a myriad of less simple responses to such an action. My favorite tends to be surprise, because apparently there are so few individuals on this campus willing to do so that it actually warrants surprise. Now, there’s an equal and opposite response – and this is a possible reason for his lack of chivalry. This response is disgust or anger. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does it can be quite a shock to the system for a guy trying to be polite.
So, girls, maybe your boyfriend is more inclined to lie on his couch with a beer and an Xbox controller this Valentine’s day rather than preparing you a (ResLife approved, battery-operated-faux) candlelit dinner because he’s frightened that you might yell at him, claiming disrespect for some reason he has trouble understanding. Here’s a better bet though: You’re dating a guy too lazy to care or attempt anything other than what’s laid out in front of him by you.
Anecdote time, ladies and gents: A friend of mine from high school is the specific inspiration for this article, because last year she had just been dumped and was essentially having a case of the yips. She was so discouraged by her past couple relationships that she became convinced she didn’t somehow deserve a high-quality, respectful guy. So, because she saw her past boyfriends as “slumming,” she figured all she deserved was to “slum”.
Seems crazy, but think of this: How many of your friends claim to be the happy couple in public, but then complain about their significant other’s personality or actions on a regular basis? It seems like too many people are willing to settle for what they’ve got on hand, rather than make an attempt to better their situation. So instead of simply dealing with one another this Valentine’s Day, why not actually enjoy one another’s presence by actually playing along with the pleasantries of a relationship?
Knowing the limits of my purview (and like I haven’t already ignored them), guys: Cook her dinner, instead of taking her out. Side note: AppleBee’s is not an appropriate venue. Go for the cheese, and not the French kind: Classic romantic gestures can definitely be cheesy, but putting your own twist on them could be an easy way to stop being the slob boyfriend. Holding her door open, taking her coat, and things like that don’t take more than an iota of extra effort, and I’m sure on a day like February 14th it’ll be appreciated.
So now I’m going back to my couch with my Xbox controller and my Pepsi (c’mon, it’s Wednesday – if I’m drinking a beer it’ll be at the Stone, not my couch). I wash my hands of the matter, knowing that it’s not going to be my fault if someone gets disappointed this Valentine’s Day. To prove my thesis that romanticism and chivalry need not be dead, have your boyfriend read this. If he can’t figure out to stop playing Call of Duty long enough to make you dinner next weekend, he’s incompetent, and I’m right.