Admiral Laker could get used to these two week breaks but Mrs. Laker is breathing down his neck to bring home a paycheck so it’s back to the weekly run down of Mercyhurst crime.

First, on Jan. 31, a student was cited for vandalism in the Duval Apartments. The Phish poster was summarily burned.

On Feb. 2, police cited someone for criminal mischief in Old Main Circle. The Mercyhurst police did not provide any additional information but Admiral Laker thinks it’s safe to assume the malcontent parked in the circle that, due to inefficient snow removal, became impassable. Admiral Laker applauds the public flogging that surely accompanied such a ghoulish grid-locker.

Similarly, on Feb. 1 (but the case was not closed until Feb. 3), there was a criminal mischief citation in Lot 8. Does Mercyhurst have an epidemic of grid lockers? Admiral Laker will let you be the judge, Constant Reader.

There was a theft in Egan Hall on Feb. 2. and an underage citation on Briggs Avenue on Feb. 7.

Admiral Laker already wants to go back on a two-week break from publishing. Descending into the depths of dastardly deeds every week is well on its way to wearing Admiral Laker out. Plus, it leaves Admiral Laker less time to practice his alliteration. ​