Since I was 16, I knew I wanted to be a writer. I have worked hard and I have seized every opportunity placed in front of me. My confidence in my ability to write and produce has sky-rocketed as I deal with the two each day. I couldn’t wait to go on interviews and find a job pursuing a career path that I love. Until this past Thursday…

Working at the Mary D’Angelo Performing Arts Center (PAC), I have been given many opportunities to advance my resume and my chance at getting a great job. Thursday was no different. My boss asked me to work an event that was a great chance to network with most of the businesses in Erie.

I have been in networking situations before. I have done well and answered any question with confidence and assertiveness. During this event, though, I found myself being timid, shy and anxious, all of which are a first for me. When I was finally spoken to, I fumbled over my words and seemed borderline uneducated.

I hid in the corner and barely made eye contact with any of the people that could have been, potentially, my new employers. I was a sweating mess as I paced up and down the hallway between Zurn and the PAC.

I was shaken up about my reaction to the new situation. Last year, I could answer these questions with ease, knowing I still had a one-year cushion to protect me from reality and the possibility of rejection. Now, it is time to sell my credentials and I am frozen.

It is my hope that I was just having an off-day. I can’t imagine, after all this time, I suddenly am afraid to get out there and make things happen for me. It is my fear that for all of these years I have been talking a big game and now I am unable to back it up.

I have a feeling that I am not alone on this. I am not the only one terrified of finally being at the end of my academic career and entering the world of the unknown. And, while I hope I am not alone on this, I also hope that my fellow upcoming graduates and I regain our confidence and seize every opportunity to receive a job that we can.