Closing of Cellblock is a blessing in disguise

A lot of the club-goers/partiers/anyone who has ears has probably heard the notorious club Cellblock has closed its doors. If you had not previously heard this, then consider yourself notified. Upon first hearing this news, there was outpouring of grief from some, such as one might expect from the death of a distant cousin or other family member. I imagine that there was at least one person who thought to go down to the club’s old doors and pour out a votive offering of FourLoko or Jagermeister to the fallen soul of this institution.

I, on the other hand, do not regret the loss of that place. It has always been a place that has been labeled as a bad idea. I went once. And after getting through the front door and seeing what was going on in there, I just turned around and walked out. Although, I must ask, what was the straw that broke the camel’s back and finally shut it down?

Was it the shooting that took place a few weeks ago when some moron decided to, first off, bring a pistol into a bustling club, and second, fire off a few rounds while surrounded by a bunch of people? Yeah, sounds like a brilliant idea.

Or was it the reputation the place had garnered? When I first heard the name of Cellblock and mentioned the idea of wanting to see what happens there, a person whom I didn’t even know at the time, turned around and gave me a speech which was the college equivalent of Obi-Wan’s speech to Luke in Star Wars: “Cellblock, you will never find a more wretched hive of booze and bad decisions.”

However, the big downside to Cellblock’s closure: all the former Cellblock goers are now moving to the other bars. Last Thursday, I saw people who I would assume would normally drink at Cellblock at the Plymouth, which tends to be a bit of a classier establishment. I’ve also heard Sluggers is now being inundated with former Cellblock goers.

The effect of the closure is something akin to a diaspora, only on much smaller, much drunker scale.
So, now that Cellblock’s dead and gone, the question is what the new owners will do with the building. I hear rumors that it’s becoming a country bar.

Maybe next year will see people dressed up in flannel and cowboy boots for a night out in Erie, and oh Lord, won’t that be a sight to see. If that happens, someone please remind me to never go out when there are deals at Cellblock’s replacement.