GOP hopefuls create air of amusement

As another year draws to a close, students are looking forward to graduation, traveling over summer break or even an extended appearance of that ever elusive northwestern Pennsylvania sun.

I completely agree, but there is one impending event that I absolutely cannot wait for: the 2012 GOP primary season.

Once this show gets on the road, there will be an endless amount of enjoyment in watching the Republican hopefuls battle it out for the chance to be electorally crushed by President Obama.

After Saturday’s attempt at a Republican primary debate in South Carolina (I say attempt because the candidates who attended generally lacked name recognition and support in the polls), it is becoming clearer that in the upcoming elections, we may not need Tina Fey to keep us watching this time.

My personal favorites in the rumored GOP pool of candidates are Michele Bachmann, Sarah Palin and Donald Trump. As a writer and political guru, I know I shouldn’t go for the easy targets, but these are too good to pass up.

Let’s start with the media darling herself: Sarah Palin. I sincerely hope she runs because then we will all be privy to more precious sound bites full of comedic gems. Putting aside the fact that she can see Russia from her house, is a reality TV star, casually referenced “blood libel” after the Arizona shooting, could not name a tenet of the Bush doctrine as a candidate in 2008 and refuses to take any hard line interviews, Sarah Palin could still possibly be the most entertaining presidential candidate in this nation’s history.

For example, upon hearing the news that President Obama decided against releasing the graphic post-mortem photos of Osama bin Laden, Palin tweeted that the president should stop “pussy footing around.” As one interested in residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. in the near future, that wasn’t a very presidential statement. As the pressure of the campaign heats up, I predict the frequency of Sarah slip-ups will, too.

Another leading lady in the GOP field has also had her share of slip-ups. Representative and tea party princess Michele Bachmann has been dazzling audiences across the nation with her misinformed statements and flat out lies. Known for her far-right rhetoric, Bachmann has said that homosexuality could potentially be forced on youth, various members of Congress are anti-American, insisted that the founding fathers eradicated slavery in 1776 and didn’t get the state right when citing the start of the Revolutionary War in a speech. With all of these under her belt already, I can’t wait to see what SNL can do with her campaign speeches in 2012.

And finally, Trump. He makes my list of top three most entertaining presidential hopefuls for many reasons, but most importantly because when he was given valuable air time to address pertinent issues facing the voters of this great nation in such perilous times, Trump repeatedly fell back to the only issue he seemed capable of discussing last week: birth certificates. As a man who could potentially run for the White House, I feel safe knowing the only issue on his mind is the birther battle. Who cares about all of the conflict in the Middle East or gunfights in Libya, right? Given Trump’s ill-focused, albeit limited, track record in politics, any run he makes in 2012 will be worth watching.

As the year dwindles to a close and the clock ticks down to the beginning of primary season, I am excited to watch the battles begin for the 2012 matchup. With such an animated cast of characters, who won’t be watching to see what they will say next?